Controlling the Uncontrollable: A Coach’s Guide to In-Game Officiating

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One of the most critical challenges teams face during games is also one that is entirely out of a coach's control: the officiating. As coaches, we must establish clear guidelines for interacting with game officials. This mindset starts with a simple truth: referees are human, and they will make mistakes, just like the rest of us. Part of our job is teaching our players to respect the whistle and handle adversity. No matter how bad a call might be, and no matter how crucial the moment, we have to teach our athletes to rise above it.

Ultimately, you cannot let an official's whistle break your team's focus when it's time to bring the game home.

Guidelines for Players

  • Protect your focus: Never let a bad call or a missed whistle dictate your effort on the next play.

  • Conserve your energy: Don’t waste valuable physical or emotional energy arguing with officials. Move on to the next play.

  • Maintain absolute respect: Officials are not the enemy. When you treat them with respect, those critical 50-50 calls are much more likely to swing your way later in the game.

  • Finish with class: Win or lose, always look the officials in the eye and shake their hands at the end of the game.

Guidelines for Coaches

  • Model the focus you expect: In today’s game, some officials quickly become defensive or take questions personally. Your priority is your team, not the refs. If an official snaps at you with a comment like, "Learn the rules before you talk," don't internalize it. Keep your focus on the bench. (Though if they can't handle a calm question, they might be in the wrong business!)

  • One voice on the bench: The head coach should be the only person on the bench questioning a call. When you do, never be disrespectful. Approach it as a calm inquiry: ask what they saw and why they made the call.

  • Break the ice early: Make an effort to chat with the referees before tip-off. A little simple small talk goes a long way in building a rapport that can help you when 50-50 decisions arise.

  • Lead by example: Never cross the line into disrespect. Show your players what poised leadership looks like under pressure.

  • Show post-game appreciation: Always shake the officials' hands when the final buzzer sounds.

The Big Picture

Over my 30 years of coaching, the biggest lesson I have learned is that the vast majority of referees have the best interest of the game at heart. They genuinely try their best to be impartial and call a fair game.

Missed calls are just a normal part of sports because humans aren't perfect. If you can coach your players to accept that officiating—good or bad—is simply part of the landscape of competition, you give your team a massive competitive advantage.

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